I’m a true-blue Floridian, born and raised in the land of sunshine and hurricanes. I mean, who needs boring weather, right? I’ve seen it all – from hurricanes parties to trees crashing down like they’ve had one too many margaritas. And let me tell you, watching tipsy folks stumbling into giant branches is pure comedy gold! Now, don’t judge me, but I was young and adventurous back then. We even turned these hurricane nights into a party game extravaganza, spinning tales and playing games as the wind howled outside. The next morning, we attempted a daring river escapade, only to be thwarted by the mother of all floods. Ah, good times, my friend. Good times indeed!

Having kids is like adding a spin cycle to the hurricane experience! Now I’m not just packing snacks and toys, but also a go bag for a quick escape. You can find me, all stressed out, stuffing it with clothes, meds, chargers, and every essential document. And guess what? The cars are always topped up with gas, the gas cans are brimming, and even the generator is ready for action! I’ve got more flashlights than a rock concert and enough oil lamps to start my own vintage store. The kids? Well, let’s just say they’ve mastered the emergency drills better than any superhero team. And don’t even get me started on tagging our horses’ tails! With a little more tidying up, we’re officially as prepared as the Avengers facing off against a Category 3 storm. But hey, who can forget the infamous Hurricane Michael? It went from a light drizzle to absolute chaos, leaving poor Mexico Beach in ruins. Oh, the joys of living on the hurricane coaster! 🌪️

In our humble abode, nestled comfortably in Zone B, we have decided to defy the evacuation orders. Why, you ask? Well, it’s all because of our beloved furry and feathered friends! You see, we simply cannot bear the thought of leaving them behind. Our pastures are wide open, offering them a buffet of grassy delights and endless fun. There are trees aplenty for their impromptu game of hide-and-seek, and a barn that has stood the test of time for a whopping century. Although we hope they won’t seek shelter there during the mighty Cat 3 hurricane, as it’s not exactly the hippest spot in town. But fear not, for our animal companions are smarter than your average human (no offense!). When the winds start howling, they’ll be the first to hit the ground and show off their impeccable survival skills. Our house, you see, is a solid fortress, built in an era when they had true craftsmanship. So, here we are, hopelessly addicted to the Weather Channel (I blame their dramatic theme music). The hurricane keeps creeping closer to us, but hey, at least we’re getting all the best memes and our locals are becoming famous on the Weather Channel. It’s all quite the spectacle, I must say!

I keep checking and yep, here comes the hurricane! Our kids’ school is evacuating faster than you can say “storm surge.” We’re talking about a whopping 7 ft of water coming their way. Don’t forget to pack your floaties! But fear not, my friend, we Floridians are prepared for the power outage extravaganza. Our generator is all set up, plugs galore, and we even have an AC wall unit to keep us cool as cucumbers. We’re like a survival squad ready to take on the storm! And let’s not forget about those poor non-Floridian transplants, running around in sheer panic. Bless their little hearts. Meanwhile, I’m just here, watching my child sprint through the house with a slice of homemade bread, screaming that it’s the world’s greatest bread ever. Can’t argue with that, right? To top it off, we’re whipping up some blueberry muffins for the inevitable power outage feast. So, for all you folks in Idalia’s path, stay safe and keep your sense of humor intact! She’s a real beast, after all. Survival mode: activated!

Would you dare dance with a mischievous Cat 3 hurricane making a beeline for your location?